Obama authorized 50% pay increase for Citibank employees. Don’t you dare call it a bonus, you reactionary you, this is different, this is change.
How long have we heard the drum beat of how the overpaid, evil, bad Wall Street will not be allowed to continue its evil bad ways. How many times have we watched Obama and Lula dance around the bonfire chanting “the white, blond haired witches who destroyed the hard earned money of the righteous minorities (ostensibly by creating financial instruments to make housing affordable and loan money to the armpits of the third world) are dead”?
Well, as Obama, decreed a “sort of God” by Newsweek and thus infallible, is not opposed to authorizing a gargantuan 50% pay increase to Citibank employees,we can only assume that he plans to suspend mathematical laws and replace them with something only his enlightened mind can conceive.
After all, if a compensation package of a typical newish trader or quant consists of say a $300,000 base pay and a $150,000 bonus for a total of $450,000, then that’s evil and worthy of excommunication as per the Obama Fatwas.
On the other hand, if the same quant gets a 50% increase in base pay for a total or $450,000, then blessed be his mighty pay check as per the Obama cannons.
Now, to a normal person this might seem contradictory, but you see that’s the thing – Obama is not a normal person. Just watch the halo and the miraculously darkening hair. Then there is, of course, the live, on-camera exhibition of Obama’s clairvoyance when he showed us that his divinity knew what the Huffington post tadpole was about to ask even before said tadpole knew what he was going to ask...ahhh ..hmmm OK we move on.
So again, as Obama cannot be wrong, then it stands to reason that $450K no longer equals $450K. That’s all. So why get hung up on that?
Of course there is that other matter of how the hell is it moral to steal the money of children whose parents make $25K to $40K to pay-off those making mid-six figures, but that also is easily explained. You see, if we didn’t do that, then the banks would have gone into Chapter 11 bankruptcy and re-emerge without Obama having a controlling interest. How could we possibly have that? Now of course you understand, right!
There it’s all fine and good and Obama is the friend of the little people as long as they make well into six figures, are UAW members, racist minorities like Reich and Sotomayor who bash whites, and/or members of ACORN.
P.S.
I wrote a post (you can read it here) on the problem that “bonus” caps would present for financial institutions, but alas, like you, my mind hampered as it is by my limbic brain, was not equipped to comprehend the new quantum arithmetic that Obama has just invented while licking ice cream (it must’ve been green tea).
Secret video of Obama Cabinet meeting
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