Breaking: We Scooped Obama Normandy Speech!

I’ve been hard at work using “triple secret probation” programs to engage Obama’s TOTUS and see if we can access it’s data base to bring you the up coming Obama speech! The TOTUS assures us that the speech is accurate and will be used not just for Normandy but for many future occasions. The TOTUS also hinted that the speech is Bill Ayers approved.

I come to Normandy as so many of my countrymen have come before. Tonight, I speak to you not as a President, but as a citizen — a proud citizen of the world to apologize for my country and for Amerika

I know that I don’t look like the Americans who’ve previously fought on this beech. The journey that led me here is improbable. My mother was born in the heartland of America, and loathed the military, Amerika and her own race.  My father, as best as we can figure,  grew up herding goats in Kenya and I assure you that he too would not have been part of invading Amerikan armies. His father — my grandfather — was a cook, a domestic servant to the British.

At the height of the Cold War, my father decided, like so many others in the forgotten corners of the world, that his yearning — his dream — required the freedom and opportunity to help destroy the West from within. And so he wrote letter after letter to universities all across Amerika until somebody, somewhere answered his prayer to help him promote the fifth column cancer of socialism behind enemy lines ..ahhh, the teleprompter is  ahead of me… ahh, I mean to promote in America ahhh breathalyzers, no not that ahh lets move on.

That is why I’m here. And you are here because you too know the devastation that Amerikan bombs brought to Europe . This place, of all places, knows the dream of freedom. And you know that the only reason we stand here tonight is because men and women from Amerika came together to invade your continent , and struggle, and sacrifice to destroy European socialism under Hitler. This will not be forgotten, not by me not by you nein, nein,Vergessen Sie nie, verzeihen Sie nie nie das Halt-Kämpfen, Deutchaland, lang lebe Deutschland lang lebe Sozialismus..ahhhh aheemm, the prompter is fast again…ahhhh …OK. ..I know you’re fired up.

Soon after that day, much of this continent  lay in ruin. The Amerikan  shadow had swept across Europe, while in the West, America, Britain, and France, socialists and communists  took stock of their losses, and pondered how the world might be remade. It took a long time, but we did it, we did it, this is it THIS IS OUR TIME! OUR TIME HAS COME! TAKE YOUR SOCIALISM TO THE NEXT LEVEL, CONFISCATE BANKS AND FACTORIES! YOU’LL FEEL MY PAIN! ahhh..wait , what? Ha ha the TOTUS must be channeling Saul Alinsky

Ours is a partnership that truly began sixty years ago this summer or was it sixty five, either way it matters not , Amerikan aggression knows no age!

But in the darkest hours, the people of Germany kept the flame of hope burning. The people of Germany refused to give up. And tens or  hundreds of thousands of Germans  came here, Nuremberg, and heard their leaders implore the world not to give up on socialism just like I did a few months ago.  Ahh what? Not in Nuremberg?  Normandy? OH yeah we are here in Normandy tooo ahhhh where was I ? Oh yeas, AmeriKa has many faults and we are arrogant and they are Christian , ahhh were arrogant, but no more, they  were  Christian…buuuut… no more! (Note to self:  stick chin up for “hero shot”)

In this new world , the view that America is part of what has gone wrong in our world, rather than a force to help make it right, has become all too common and its about damn time. Michelle and I knew this a long time ago as did my mother and father (as best as we can figure)

In America, there are voices that deride and deny the importance of Christianity’s role  role in our security and our future. They are of course  right. Both views miss the truth — that Europeans today are truly seeking socialism on the way to communism  just as I am doing in  America.  The military and the bases built in the last century to defend the security of this continent, and the world I will soon use  to sacrifice the freedom of Amerika and soon the the globe.

This is the moment when we must defeat freedom and dry up the well of extremism that supports it. This threat is real and we cannot shrink from our responsibility to combat it. If they could create NATO to face down the Soviet Union, then we can join in a new and global partnership to dismantle the networks that have struck in so many cities in Amerika under the guise of Tea Parties. If we could win a battle of ideas against the capitalists we can stand with the vast majority of Muslims who reject the extremism of freedom that leads to hate instead of hope.

People of Normandy — and people of the world — the scale of our challenge is great. The road ahead will be long. But I come before you to say that we are heirs to a struggle for freedom. We are a people of improbable hope. Let us build on our communist destiny, no , not communist, -roll back the teleprompter, OK there, – common history, and seize our common destiny, and once again engage in that noble struggle to bring justice and peace to the proletariat , people , I mean people -damn you TOTUS-   people of the world, AsSalāmu`Alaykum, Evviva il comunismo e la libertà, O comunisti alla riscosa! ( Loud applause heard)

Crank up the sound and jam with the Bama!